Perhaps the best place to begin on this journey is with this question…
Why on earth would we want to sabotage our own growth and fulfilment ?????
Why would we not want to be fully alive and vital?
Why do we sabotage ourselves and make ourselves smaller?
I have a client who was telling me that she tries everyday to breathe more fully and yet there is something that stops her from doing it. She was telling me how she knows she could and should breathe deeply, and if she did she would feel so much more alive, but she feels something inside of her that doesn’t want to do it. She wondered what that was.
I told her, well it is the same thing that sabotages all of our good intentions…
Resistance is the force, often unconscious, that will try to take us in any
direction but growth.
It is the sabotage-making aspect within all of us.
It really really helps to get really really intimate with how resistance shows itself in your life.
Do you notice this unnerving pattern; you feel amazing for a bit, and then, you notice a force that wants to pull you back into old patterns that you know ultimately make you feel crap?
Resistance is super tricky. Even if one parts of us longs to be more free, more alive, more juicy, more confident, more relaxed, motivated, self actualized and empowered etc. often another part wants to sabotage the whole positive action plan.
Here is the reason that we can actively work against our own happiness
It can feel kind of comfortable in ‘the known’
Yes, it can feel, crap, constrictive and far too familiar, and some part of us gets addictive to the familiar.
Indulging in familiar, life negating habits and patterns can be a good escape from doing the work
involved in opening up to more of our potential.
Being big is scary for those places that want to hide!!!!!!
When we breathe deeply, eat foods that make us feel clear, move past our small fears and old patterns
and expand beyond our contracted states, well, we become energetically big.
In other words we expand beyond our comfort zone.
We become visible.
We notice the things that we have been trying to avoid.
We feel things that we were not allowing ourselves to feel.
We become accountable.
We become whole.
All this is incredibly empowering and it feels great most of the time and yet at moments it is terrifying.
We were not trained to be big
We were trained to act small, we were trained to be ‘good’ and do the right thing and ‘get it right’.
Those old voices and programs still hold powerful sway over us unless we do the work to
rewrite the program.
So how to do that?
#1 Get to know the voice of
your inner saboteur
Self- knowledge sets you free… it is extremely liberating to find out how the inner saboteur
plays out in your life.
I have developed a healthy fascination with this. For instance, if I am about to do something that is going
to lead to growth then I notice all sorts of strange behavior playing out in the days or hours preceding this.
It actually feels like the contracted and attached parts of me begin to freak out.
If I am about to fast, I notice myself getting super attached to food.
If I am going to expand my business I notice that I will curl in a corner and hide for a while.
If I am going to teach a big workshop I notice myself distracting myself in unnecessary ways so I turn up
too late for it to be a peaceful set up where I have time to feel my nervous feelings.
By now I am getting some idea of how it works and how to ‘work it’ so these sabotage patterns do not
rule me and keep me from what I truly want and need.
How does your inner saboteur work? How can you work with it in a way that you did not get drawn into its drama in a way that distracts you from your true mission in life?
#2 Baby yourself through the glitches
What has helped me the most has been the ability to nurse myself through my freak outs. I have gotten very good at noticing when I am falling into a self sabotage pattern (often it is just noticing that I am behaving weirdly) and speaking to myself patiently something to the effect of:
‘Oh look, you are doing that thing again.’
‘Oh honey you are feeling really scared right now aren’t you?’ and
‘Yes it feels like a lot right now doesn’t it? Why don’t you just breathe and take the first step’.
The worst thing you can do is shame yourself for feeling resistant!
Be compassionate with these aspects of self that are scared, and don’t let them take you off track either.
Speaking to yourself like you are a child might sound stupid but it really works. This process helps you to step out of the known without completely freaking out and sabotaging the whole thing unconsciously.
#3 Risk your YES
We think that the unknown is scary.
And indeed the unknown is scary, until we cultivate a different relationship to it.
Any step forward will involve a commitment and a risk.
Do you risk your YES?
Do you feel like you are worth living a life that serves your YES?
Do you feel like you are capable of it? Do you even want it?
What would your YES look like and how can you make the first baby step in that direction NOW? Allow this to be an ongoing exploration in your life. Breathe into the spaces inside of you that feel contracted and allow a sense of spaciousness and surrender into your everyday experience.
#4 Shake the energy up - and get support
In addition to getting real with ourselves and asking the important questions…shake the stagnant sabotaging energy out of your body, frequently.
Bring in the wild woman/ man energy. That ‘fuck it’ energy, that inner lion/ lioness that knows how to break the resistance with a mighty roar…
Anything that we can do to help ourselves come into a place of choice, and out of victimhood helps melt the resistance.
#5 Take it moment by moment -
let the carrot Lead You
Don’t push it, make sure you are on track, and once you are on track, let the track take you, let go of the ‘should’, feel into how good it feels to be dynamic, creatively inspired and ALIVE and let that be what motivates you.
When the resistance is gone what is left? Usually a natural movement towards what we know to be deeply good, and inspiring, for us.
The more you walk this path, the more you trust it,
the more the flow takes you.
If you can invite your inner saboteur along for the ride, and dance skillfully with the resistance that is part and parcel of growth, then you will definitely find that…
Life is waiting for you to reclaim the depths and breadth of your potential.
The impulse of your growth is more powerful than the part that resists it.
That impulse will guide the way onward, showing you more and more of who you are and of what we
you are capable of.
ENJOY this incredible exploration, into the unknown,
into the truth, into your fullness.
Activate this is an Empowerment Pod - designed to nurture you into the next level of integrity and empowerment.